A Reflection on Collapse, Survival, and the Courage to Rebuild
There are moments when life splits. When the job you built your identity around disappears.
When the relationship you trusted slips through your fingers. When the walls of your home, routine, or reality begin to crack.
You didn’t choose the collapse. You didn’t ask for the ending.
You were holding it together… until you couldn’t anymore.
And suddenly, you’re here. In the in-between.
Not who you were. Not yet who you’re becoming. This is change in motion. This, perhaps is change you never asked for. But it is a part of life that we are unable to control and without which we would not grow.
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When the Floor Disappears
At first, it feels like freefall. Disorientation. Numbness. Panic. Skydivers have felt this before, in the moments before their parachute opens. You ask questions into a void:
“Why now?”
“Why me?”
“Wasn’t I doing everything right?”
“Is this the end?”
You scan for blame—yourself, others, the world—
as your nervous system searches for safety in a story that makes sense.
But what if it wasn’t about punishment or failure?
What if it was a sacred disruption?
What if your life was asking you to wake up?
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The Drama Triangle: Where We Stay Small
In the fog of crisis, many of us unconsciously step into the Drama Triangle—
the age-old dance of victim, rescuer, and persecutor.
• “This always happens to me.” (victim)
• “Let me fix it for everyone else so I don’t fall apart.” (rescuer)
• “It’s their fault. They ruined it.” (persecutor)
These are survival roles.
And survival is valid.
But staying there is not the same as healing. And all the roles are inherently flawed – they leave us feeling either disempowered, drained or angry. But there is an alternative.
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The Empowerment Triangle: Where We Begin Again
Healing begins when we pause the blame—and choose ownership.
The Empowerment Triangle teaches us new roles:
• From victim to creator: “I may not have chosen this, but I can choose what happens next.”
• From rescuer to coach: “I believe in your strength. How can you move forward?”
• From persecutor to challenger: “This is a hard truth—but you’re capable of facing it.”
It’s not always graceful. But it’s how we reclaim our power. Not all at once—but breath by breath. We play all three roles perhaps. We have these people in our lives perhaps. Either way, this is an empowering triangle and one that we are all capable of fulfilling.
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From Rubble to Rebuilding
After the collapse, there’s quiet. Not the peaceful kind— but the kind that rings in your ears when everything familiar is gone.
You look around. The job title? Gone. The relationship? Shattered.
The routine that made you feel safe? Cracked wide open.
And then—slowly—you realize:
This is where something new can be built.
But not in the way it was before.
Not as a patch job. Not as a frantic rush to fill the void.
This time, it’s about becoming.
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The Blueprint: Who Am I Now?
Rebuilding doesn’t begin with bricks.
It begins with questions:
• Who am I—without the role I used to play?
• What matters to me now?
• What kind of life do I want to wake up to?
• What am I learning about myself in the silence?
These are not small questions.
They are not easy questions.
But they are the foundation.
Because we don’t want to build a life from fear again.
We want to build it from truth.
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The New Structure
Rebuilding looks like:
• Creating a morning routine that centers you.
• Saying no—even when your voice shakes.
• Learning to cook for one.
• Starting a side project that makes you feel alive.
• Going to therapy.
• Reading poetry again.
• Sitting in a room without distraction—because you’re no longer afraid of your own company.
This is structure born from alignment, not from pressure.
This is the kind of scaffolding that holds you up, not boxes you in.
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Becoming the Architect of Your Life
You may not have chosen the fire.
But you do get to choose what rises from the ash.
This is where your power begins:
Not in the past.
Not in someone else’s validation.
But in your choice—today—to come home to yourself.
And maybe for the first time,
You’ll see that it was never about fixing the broken pieces.
It was about discovering the unshakable core that remained.
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A Note for You, Dear Reader
If you are in a season of loss or limbo,
Please know: you are not alone.
You are not broken.
You are being invited—to become.
And I promise you:
You are capable of building something so deeply beautiful,
Not despite the pain you’ve been through,
But because of the wisdom it left in its wake.
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Journal Prompts to Close:
• “Where in your life are you being invited to begin again?”
• “What part of your identity is asking to be rewritten?”
• “If I trusted myself completely… what would I build next?”
