In a world that tells us to “hustle harder,” “manifest faster,” or “achieve more,” it’s easy to lose sight of the deeper truth:
Goals are not just about getting things done.
They’re about becoming more of who you truly are.
I don’t believe in empty checklists or goals built on fear and pressure. I believe in clarity that’s grounded in purpose, and momentum that’s anchored in meaning. That belief is actually backed by decades of research in goal-setting psychology—and today, we’re translating that science into soulful guidance you can use right now.
🧠Why Goals Matter (and Why Some Goals Just Don’t Work)
Research in positive psychology shows that setting clear, emotionally resonant goals increases focus, motivation, self-worth, and long-term satisfaction. But that only happens when your goals are:
- Meaningful (connected to your values and identity)
- Challenging (but not overwhelming)
- Clear (you know what success looks and feels like)
- Self-chosen (not imposed by someone else’s agenda)
In other words: goals only work when they reflect your truth.
We call these soul-aligned goals—goals that emerge from the inside out. Not because you “should,” but because you want to. Not to prove your worth, but to express it.
✨ Step 1: Let Your Goals Come From the Inside, Not the Outside
Before you write anything down, take a breath and ask:
- What do I deeply desire—not just for success, but for aliveness?
- What would feel like a meaningful evolution of who I am?
- If no one was watching, what would I still want to move toward?
This is where Self-Determination Theory comes in—a foundational concept in psychology. It says that motivation thrives when we’re pursuing goals that meet three needs:
- Autonomy – the freedom to choose your own path
- Competence – the feeling of mastery or meaningful progress
- Connection – the sense of contributing to something beyond yourself
If a goal doesn’t speak to at least one of those? It’ll likely drain you rather than inspire you. That’s why so many “resolutions” fail by February. They’re surface-level, not soul-rooted.
💡 ICB Coaching Tip: Ask yourself not just “What do I want?”—but “Why do I want it?” And go deeper until the answer feels true in your gut.
🌿 Step 2: Break It Down With Structure That Still Feels Soft
Once you have a soul-aligned goal, you’ll want to give it a container—not a cage, but a compass. The SMART framework can help:
- Specific – What exactly do I want to do?
- Measurable – How will I know I’m on track?
- Achievable – Is this doable with the time and energy I have now?
- Relevant – Does it match where I am in my life and where I’m headed?
- Time-bound – Can I hold myself gently accountable with a time frame?
We also recommend using implementation intentions—a fancy phrase for “if–then” planning.
Example:
If I start doubting myself during the week, then I’ll spend five minutes journaling instead of spiraling.
This works because it creates pre-decided support systems when you’re most vulnerable to quitting.
💡 ICB Coaching Tip: If a framework starts to feel like pressure instead of peace, pause. A good goal will stretch you—but it should never crush you.
🔥 Step 3: Turn Motivation Into Momentum—Without Burning Out
Motivation is not a fire that burns forever. It’s a rhythm. A wave.
That’s why the most effective goal-setting plans aren’t rigid—they’re responsive.
You’ll want to:
- Envision what success feels like—not just looks like
- Check in weekly—what’s working? what’s draining?
- Celebrate progress—even (especially) the tiny wins
- Let go of goals that no longer serve your soul
Psychologically, this helps regulate your dopamine feedback loop—the internal reward system that keeps you going. Spiritually, it keeps you in alignment rather than attachment.
💡 ICB Coaching Tip: Track your growth like a gardener tracks the soil. The harvest will come—but first, pay attention to what nourishes you.
🌱 Step 4: Root Your Goals in Hope, Not Hustle
Hope is not wishful thinking. It’s not toxic positivity.
Hope is the belief that the future can be better—and that you can influence it. That’s powerful.
When you set goals from a place of hope, you’re more resilient. You’re more creative. And most importantly, you’re kinder to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
One study showed that hope-based goal-setting improves emotional well-being, especially when you feel supported. So: build your village. Share your goals with someone who gets it. And don’t be afraid to ask for encouragement when the road gets long.
💡 ICB Coaching Tip: Hope isn’t the absence of doubt. It’s the willingness to walk forward even while doubt rides in your back pocket.
🌺 Step 5: Let the Journey Change You
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to outgrow a goal you once fought for.
You are allowed to become someone new as you pursue the life you desire.
At I CAN BE Coaching, we teach clients how to set flexible goals that evolve with your healing, your clarity, and your capacity. That means:
- Sometimes you’ll pivot.
- Sometimes you’ll rest.
- Sometimes you’ll realize the real goal was self-worth, not the job or the partner or the number.
And that is sacred. That is success.
💡 ICB Coaching Tip: Ask yourself regularly, “Is this still true for me?” If the answer is no, trust yourself to shift with grace.
🌕 Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan—You Need a True One
At the end of the day, goal-setting isn’t about becoming someone new.
It’s about becoming more yourself.
The version of you who is clear, brave, emotionally grounded, and deeply in touch with what matters. That’s who’s setting the goal. That’s who’s walking the path. And that’s who’s worthy of the outcome.
Whether you’re building a business, starting a relationship, launching a creative dream, or simply trying to be more at peace in your own skin… your next step doesn’t have to be huge. It just has to be honest.
🕊️ With clarity, compassion, and momentum,
